Go figure!!

Audit This!!! lol!!

Question: Does it matter in what order i buy it?

Answer: Yes. in the following order: Infiniti, Ducati and Beemer.

It just doesnt matter

For the past couple of weeks i have been noticing so many things around me, that i hadnt noticed before. And it has open my eyes to a lot of things i need to digest properly. There is a switch in roles/plays. I havent even heard it once. The problem isnt me the problem is you, who just doesnt see what i want to feel. There are times that it hurts and then there are times when i couldn't give two shits. Look what you have done now, dont you know if a person thinks too much about it that thing is bound to happen. How would you? But then again you have never been good with people, so say many close to you.

Talk. Talk to me, so we can communicate. This time ill wait for you.

Phase 3

In 23 years of my life i have quit smoking about 5 times and have always started again. Why? Individuals stick onto excuses to act differently i guess. This question has been bothering me for quite sometime now. Three weeks ago when i decided to quit smoking i was puzzled with the question of "Is this permanent?" 3 days later i had decided to make it permanent, since it was effecting me in many ways i was unaware till that day. I admire the people who get up one day and never touch a cigarette for the rest of their lives. I don't work that way. I know the exact phases and the exact times when my urges make me weak.

Phase one: Getting Sick. This phase is the withdrawal and the recovery phase where i get sick and waste tissue papers left and right.

Phase two: Weakness in the daily life activities. Don't feel like working, Don't feel like sitting around. Hence, when i was 15 and quit for the Third Time i saw my grades slip, right before my eyes.

Phase three: Irritation. Irritation occurs when the final urges start kicking in. The fact that everyone around you is smoking and you are not makes you irritated. Furthermore, every little thing gets to you. Whether you like it or not one tries to avoid conflicts and the usual manner to avoid conflicts was smoking and if one doesn't get it then avoiding these conflicts is hard. Now, one has to be very careful, since the idea is to deal with them in a healthier way and not running away (which is the case with many). Phase three marks the complications and the manually start up of your side of the brain you never used before. This can take time and a lot of effort (Trust me i am in phase three right now). Another thing one can do is try and take deep breathes whenever something heavy is felt in the heart or your chest. That would not work for long hence, other measures like routine work outs and diversion of attention and "keeping your self busy" techniques should be used.

Although it may seem that i am contradicting myself with the earlier statement of excuses, then again i am a human being too. These phases i believe are just a psychological excuse of acting differently just like other things are. Therefore, my conclusion to the whole thing is that quitting smoking is easy, if one has the right mind set, if you don't then there is no one stopping you... keep making excuses to pick up that cancer stick and light it up.

I also think that it is a defensive mechanism that we use. I can see it.

Hopefully, this is the last time i have to go through all this again. Knowing myself so much better now and the habits and understanding why i got urges in the first place, makes me believe that i can do this, once and for all. Then again remember i am just a human being and i might need an excuse one of these days.