Burnt Out

So this is what a burn out feels like. I thought i could take more of this shit than i really can. Its not only my normal day-to-day life that has taken a hit also my patience. I find myself cursing a lot, which has never been my thing. I cursed but not as much as i do now. There are times where i am just sitting at home and i would want to go to sleep. There are times when i am sitting in my office wanting to fall asleep on my own laptop. This couldnt be it can it? Is this what burnt out feels like, where one person is talking and you zone out into never never land? So this is what busy season seems like? Can i handle it? The answer is yes, i can. I was not prepared for this burn out situation and the sitting in front of the computer and eating the whole day situation. Therefore, i shall now take the following steps:

1. Quit Smoking. Yes, no smoking while drinking, or stressed out or hey its only one smoke... it is goodbye smoking till i am better able to control it.

2. No more unhealthy diet. No Chips, No Pops, No Greesy and Fatty foods. I will however, not give up chocolates, Sorry but i just can't.

3. Start drinking Green Tea to be able to Detoxify this whole week.

4. Go to the Gym almost every day (meaning: out of a 7 day week 5 days are to be alloted to Gym usage)

5. Try and perform Yoga, or somewhat close to it. The reason for being burnt out is because i take way too much stress on myself, i need to calm my mind down... have more control over it. Therefore, every day for 20 to 25 mins i will sit in a quiet place close my eyes and think about nothing... just absolutely NOTHING.

6. Go back to the nature. I have always found peace in nature and for the past few years have not gone out to nature... therefore, it is my goal that once every month i will be going out to nature.

Ladies and Gentlemen... there is work that needs to be done. I need to be strong on this, get my life back on track be able to have more and more patience and tolerance.... i never complained and now i am to a point where i am complaining... something went wrong somewhere. I need to fix it, Victory will be mine... Oh and ofcourse ill need everyone's support on this one hehehe thanks...

This is not a drill soldier, there shall be reprucussions to not doing the above today at 1800 hours I will put up a game plan in my room, just like the old days when i changed from bing a dumbass to a intelligent human being hehehe.... aaahhhh and people thought life was boring...

All in a days work.

I should probably be the last person to say anything, but here goes: I am tired. I need atleast a week's rest since i didnt get any rest the last weekend. My productivity is being affected at work and other places. I zone out while i am driving into a land of rainbows and flying horses. What is all of that? Is it the mass level of stress that i have or just the lack of organization. I would disagree with the latter case; however, am still open to suggestions. In terms of the former, i would disagree with that too. Handling stress is something i am good at or was good at at one point in my life.

I am under a lot of pressure these days and the sad part is that no one can see that. There are a lot of things going on in my mind right now that i dont want to think about, but given my nature of planning things out before hand i have to deal with it and that is what the problem is. I am very much confused about the way things are going now and an outcome is soon to follow. Is it my fault? I guess ill just nod ahead and take up whatever crap everyone wants to give me. Fine go ahead give me griefs, judgemental looks, problems, and much more crap and all i'll do is sit there and take it. Ill take it like a man, waiting for you to realize what kind of crap i have to deal with. Well then again realization is something that has never occured to you before and i highly doubt you will be able to realize it again. Put yourself in my shoes and ask yourself: What have i done? What is my punishment? and why am i being punished? If i want i can start giving two fucks about everything and then lets see how soon everything falls apart. Just say the word and mean it this time.

Whatever, i just need to get this day over with, so i can go home and close my door and my lights off and hear myself think. Goodbye!