Verge of Change...

This is to ensure that i am about to change my way of thinking. I WILL cut lose of everything that is creating barriers in my personal growth.... i will not give a shit as to who is who... if some one disrespects me i will cut them out off my life. I have done too much to earn the respect in this world and will not spend any more time building that rapport with anyone. I need my life to be as much stable as possible... i am willing to compromise on a couple of things but if you push me the consequences you should be willing to live with.... you have no idea what you are doing to me or what goes on inside my mind when you act this way.... all that had to be said is out there... the choice is yours... its not like you will ever listen to me so i will hold my silence till i am pushed some more.

My Back is killing me it is is pain for over 3 weeks now and all you can think about is meaningless SHIT... you want to talk? here ill talk: " I want to be able to buy things from my own money without thinking twice. I have had all sorts of problems when young but that never stopped me from dreaming about how wealthy i want to be and being a nice guy.... just because life wasnt fair to me i wouldnt make it my oath that life SHOULDNT be fair for others too... therefore, i was nice and still am till this very day... worked hard in getting where i am at right now and all i can think of is how unhappy i can get or how i can get hurt.... If i were to shield myself from what i know might happen how will i live my life?" These are the fears inside my heart.... you want to talk??? I am better off talking to myself because at the end of the day everyone is selfish and no one listens or is there for you....

I have fears in my heart, and they are all realistic... *maybe if i sit this way my back will stop hurting* i want to be able to express myself, be cared for, be heard, and most of all... be loved. Graduation is right around the corner and i just can see the tears coming out of my eyes.... i should probably just bury my fears deep inside me.....

happy? i dont know yet!!! time will tell.