I give up!!!
For 5 years i have been trying to fight you for 5 years i have tried everything... for 5 years i thought the future will be bright and for 5 years i thought i am going to live the life in peace given the amounts handled by my family at one time... i have been torn apart now i have!! the news i heard in the morning so disturbing so unstatisfying... Do not be surprised if i land in a dumpster one day with a gun in one hand and my brains in the other.... how are these 8 months going to pass by? i still ponder and after today i will for the next 8 months i feel sad, depressed anger for what i am going through and how others are ungrateful... i feel suicidal now!!! is that normal for me? no its not. Is it normal for me to take a kniffe and shove it through my heart? just to see how it feels... these are the thoughts i deal with.... a cry for help has been sent out long time ago but no one is responding.. no one comes to aide. The results will be catastrophic...
posted by Life | 10:57 AM
1 Comments:
Please excuse me for taking the freedom to write this. It's just that I felt really sorry and concerned by reading your post.
Yes, life is a ceaseless struggle against relentless oppositions to our sense of security, peace and happiness. But though distress in life is inescapable and unpleasant, it's not without meaning.
We can’t break the law of nature. We can only break ourselves against the law. Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them.
I remember an account from involving a study of flea behavior. This bloodsucking insects are able to leap horizontal or vertical distances 200 times their body length. The examiners in this case placed a group of fleas in a jar and closed the opening with a lid. At first the fleas fervently tried to escape. After a while they noticed that the higher they jump, the harder they smash their tiny heads against the lid. So intelligently, in order to avoid the hardship and impracticality of the attempt, they adjusted their leaping to the precise hight of the jar, stopping in the air just before hitting the lid. Similarly, we also need to learn from our experiences.
We are searching for fulfillment in the wrong place. Just think for a moment, Who are you in actuality?
Our body is made of miljons of individual cells, yet we are one person. How can that be, if we are the body? You say “my arm, my head” etc, but where are you? The body is changing all the time. After seven years every cell in your body has changed, yet you remain the same individual, the same “I”. Your baby body is no more, yet you remember your childhood. Who’s the one who’s remembring? At the time of death the chemical composition of the body is the same, yet life is no more. What is this life? Try to understand this life, which is not a material product.
The real problem is that we are truly indefatigable in providing for the needs of the body, but we starve the soul. The pains of life are there to make us wake up, and question what life is really about.
The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall, and to learn from our experiences. Your existence is much more important and precious than you can ever imagine. Mundane pleasures and hardships, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. Neither will remain for long, so don’t give up in distress. Pursue the hidden potentials of your actual self, which is spiritual.
A short poem for you:
“Can you show me the neverland
where happiness would never end
Coz life is just like a wheel
it goes up and down for what I feel
Can you take me to the neverland
where I can play under the rain
let the angel be my friend
and free my soul from hatred and pain”
/A humble well-wisher.
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